In 2011, the car I was travelling in was smashed by one of several very large trees blown over during a freak Oregon Willamette Pass wind storm. If not for the quick reflexes of my friend who was driving, Brandon, there is no doubt in my mind that we would all be dead. Luckily, he pulled forward just in time for the “smashing” to happen right behind my back. When the wind died down, and I stopped screaming, there was tree carnage all over the place. We climbed out of the car, over a giant tree, to sit an 18 wheeler cab and watch the ODOT guy and his ginormous truck saw cut through the tree, push the monster aside and freak out when he saw a smashed car. There is nothing like watching a man creep towards your car knowing for certain he is going to see mangled bodies. Yikes!

After the accident, I experienced a period of time free of my usual fears and phobias. I felt invincible. You didn’t get me, you people killing tree! (By the way, I still love trees.) But, that feeling of invincibility didn’t last. By nature, I am pretty practical. When the sometimes paralyzing fears returned, I wondered, “Why are you back, my old friends?”

About this same time, my documentary making uncle, Bruce Ricker, passed away – leaving me a bit of movie equipment. I felt compelled to carry on his work, and I set out on a journey to document my “no fear” to “fear” experience by interviewing and filming several spiritual and thought leaders on the West Coast. Oh, I had big dreams of compiling everything into a documentary, similar to I AM by Tom Shadyac (a must watch film). My concept was to weave modern day scary and horror movie clips in between the interview shorts.

This video featuring best selling author and transformational speaker, Gregg Levoy, is the first interview I filmed in San Francisco. Reading his book CALLINGS and speaking with Gregg was life changing for me. This experience was the catapult that propelled me towards a career change from Human Resources to self employed Resume Writer…and an amateur film maker (more on that later).

Fast forward 8 years later, the dream of turning the KNOW FEAR, KNOW FREEDOM project into a documentary has eluded me. Partly because of my fear of mediocrity (ironic?). Partly because it costs a lot of money to purchase rights to Hollywood B Roll (movie clips)…and my camera was stolen. And, partly because I have a habit of taking on too many personal creative projects that create distraction.

For 8 years, I have been agonizing over this “failure” to deliver this documentary! Spoiler Alert: I’m done with torturing myself.

I realize now, it is not a failure. It has been a journey I had to take. A trip that is finished and a dream that was realized in my different ways than I originally intended. During this journey, I learned much about myself, acquired many skills, and pushed myself beyond my outdated boundaries.


  1. I acquired video and editing skills that I transferred to creating educational video content for this resume writing website.
  2. I gained the courage to direct and produce a psychological thriller I wrote several years earlier called IN HER BLOOD. CLICK HERE TO ACCESS MOVIE.
  3. IN HER BLOOD helped several talented media college interns finish their degree. A few of them have jobs in the media industry. We can all say we did it! We made a real movie…and they can’t take that away!
  4. When IN HER BLOOD wasn’t picked up and received a few bad reviews on Amazon Prime (there were good ones too), I discovered I wouldn’t die from public embarrassment.
  5. I didn’t waste anyone’s time. The interviewees shared their wisdom, and lives were changed for all involved, including the lives of my clients when I share what I have learned to encourage during times of transition and career change.
  6. Seeking to understand fear, and how to move forward in-spite of fear, gave me the courage to step away from a two decade career and build a successful business, enabling me to contribute to improving the lives of my clients.
  7. Last, but not least, I learned how I can use projects to distract me from my true dreams and determinations, and how I incorrectly believe somethings are possible…and some are not.

No, the KNOW FEAR, KNOW FREEDOM project isn’t a failure. It is a total success! I had a vision of what I thought it should look like. I was wrong, and I am thrilled to be wrong. I am also thrilled to finally know when to call something done.

Thank you India. Thank you terror. Thank you disillusionment. Thank you frailty. Thank you consequence. Thank you thank you, Silence.

The moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle. The moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down.

– Alanis Morissette, partial lyrics from THANK U

Today, January 1, 2020, I lay this project to rest. All the interviews, in different shapes, sizes and appearance (complete and incomplete), are on Vimeo. CLICK HERE TO VIEW.

The featured speakers are:

This is Heather Ann McBride signing off this project and wishing everyone a Happy New Year, World!